Happiness Homeostasis - Is It Possible To Be Happy All The Time?
Updated: Jul 16, 2018
I 'm going to say something scary.
I'm happy. Like really really really happy. Like happy all the time kind of happy.
Why is this so scary to admit? Two reasons:
A. I've never experienced anything like this before in my life so I'm still a bit in disbelief.
B. Society tell us this isn't possible - that something bad will eventually happen that will send you off your rocker.
BUT - here is my challenge to that. What if bad things can happen (because they will) but you can still keep your happiness and positive outlook on life? The point isn't to stop life from happening or to carefully craft your external reality so that nothing bad will ever happen. The point is to carefully craft your internal reality so that when challenges and obstacles come your way you can keep your happiness - all the time.
Happiness homeostasis is possible - but it does require work.
Now- I'm going to get really raw with you guys here for a second and share a really personal situation with you that just happened in my life.
I don't really want to share this story with you because it's a story about how I got rejected and what actually went on in my mind. But it's also a story of hope and happiness for me and I'm hoping someone will connect with it and be like "Holy shit, that's what happens in my mind!" So here it goes.....
A romantic relationship with someone I deeply care about recently came to an end. A week later his friend invited me to dinner and kindly warned me that my freshly ended romantic partner would be there with his new date.
I'm sorry, but did you say NEW DATE??
I was crushed. My ego roared - REJECTION.
Cue the old familiar voices and warm blanket of sadness. Side note: I've spent a good chunk of my life in depression so my brain loves it. We can actually become addicted to bad feelings the same way we can get addicted to good feelings or drugs or people or food or anything.
But here's the interesting thing - here's what happened next:
Ego: "There must be something wrong with you. You don't deserve love. You just aren't loveable. Can we put on some depressing music already?"
Newly trained brain: "But there must be something positive that can come of this situation. Let's figure out what it is."
Ego: "Nope. That girl is probably prettier, smarter, skinnier, better than you in some way that makes him want her more than you."
Newly trained brain: "Come on are you serious? YOU are pretty AND smart too. You deserve someone totally amazing that can see all those things in you. And remember how hard we've been working on standing up for yourself and being grateful for even the bad stuff?"
Ego: "Oh right, thanks for reminding me how horrible I've let people treat me my whole life." (In comes victim hood, exaggeration, and whole bunch of other unhelpful ideation)
I watched as my old self battled my new self. At this point I had been rigorously training my brain for positivity - to see the reasons to be grateful in all situations- and it was fighting hard to win this battle.
Finally, my newly trained brain not only won the battle, but went above and beyond and delivered an amazing piece of information to me. This is what it said:
"Carisa- now you get to show people how you want to be treated and cultivate really healthy relationships because that's what you deserve. Wait - through all these shitty relationships has God/Universe/Higher Power/Divine Love and Source of it All been trying to show you that you're worth it? That you deserve something amazing? But The Universe couldn't just tell you that because you probably wouldn't have listened. So instead The Universe had to show you through experiences - it had to put you in the path of hurt so you could search for a different path, so you could FINALLY get to the understanding (the KNOWINGNESS) that you are worth having amazing humans in your life that treat you like you want to be treated because you've shown them how. But you first had to know how you didn't want to be treated in order to know how you do.
Phew - brain orgasm.
And the happiness stayed. And the happiness grew.
Since then guess what has happened? Life. And more life. And even more life has tried to come at me.
And I've stayed happy. And have grown even happier.
Look - I'm not saying that in every moment you will experience happiness. Because when people die or you experience trauma physically or emotionally or you loose a job or your home- its painful.
What I am saying is that it's possible to have an underlying energy of constant joy and happiness. So that when bad things do happen, you have the ability to bounce back fast and with more strength and vitality and trust in The Universe than ever before.
AND THEN when you have an underlying energy of constant joy and happiness then you just attract even more joy and happiness. The cycle perpetuates and you become the strong, resilient, empowered, loving, hopeful, happy person that this world so desperately needs.
We need you. The world needs you. And your ideas. And your inspiration. And your love.
So can I show you guys how I got there?
If you're interested - shoot me an email, check out the meditation section, or read about my online courses.